I have quite a special relationship with my own brain. You see, I am fully aware of the fact that I can’t always trust it. It’s not always kind to me, and sometimes it just straight up lies to me. A lot of people aren’t aware of the fact that their brain is, in fact, an ass. I am aware of this and I’m not afraid to examine my own thinking process and the emotions that come with it. Human psychology is just so darn fascinating. After quite a few years of examining my brain-workings, I have come to a few insights about me as a person. I am confronted with insecurities on a regular basis, combined with an occasional fear of failure. Let’s dive into those insecurities first, shall we?
Today is Valentine’s day. Some of you may think it’s too commercial, some of you might be leaving for a super romantic getaway with your partners. Some of you will be in a (happy) relationship while others, myself included, are single and plan on spending the evening with like-minded people. Whatever you choose to do: I hope you have fun doing it. Personally, I’ve been single for about a year and a half now and I don’t think that’s going to change any time soon. Meeting decent men isn’t as easy as I was lead to believe when I was younger but let’s not get into that right now. Don’t get me wrong though, I do want a relationship, it just has to be the right one. Allow me to divulge.
As I’m writing this, I’m fresh out of the cinema, where I just saw La La Land, the first movie in years to score 14 (!) Oscar nominations. Pretty crazy, especially when you think about the fact that it’s a musical. I personally love musicals, like the really old black and white ones, with gorgeous women and handsome men, and romance oozing out of every pore. Show me a movie with Gene Kelly and I’ll swoon from the moment it opens until I see ‘The End’ appear, and quite some time after. I know musicals aren’t for everybody, and I get that, but it’s pure escapism to me. It’s a dream world where everything turns out just the way it’s supposed to. And that is exactly why I feel completely disillusioned at this moment. I am going to issue a spoiler alert here: don’t read any further if you haven’t seen the movie and it’s on your to-do list.
When I was younger, I had this image in my head about what my life would be like in ‘The Future’. I’d graduate, find a job I loved right away, I’d meet my Mister Perfect at school, we’d date for a few years, move in together and eventually buy a place together, get married and have babies. I imagined all of this would happen by the time I was 25. Baby number two would come age 27 and I would pretty much have my shit together for the rest of my life. I am currently 27 and I can tell you one thing: none of this has happened. My shit is nowhere near together.
I don’t know if any of you know Flow, but it’s a monthly magazine that’s pretty popular in Belgium. It’s a Dutch lifestyle magazine with amazing graphics, insights and subjects. You can click here if you’d like to check it out. Every year they publish a daily calendar. Last year it was about tiny pleasures, this year, it’s a question a day. Continue reading →
A few weeks ago, I did something very out of the ordinary for me. You see, I’m quite the overthinker. It’s not a character trait I necessarily love about myself, but hey. So what did I do? I booked my first solo trip, to Barcelona. Continue reading →